Leading Lady

I love movies,  I mean I really love movies. I could spend all day not talking just watching movies, actually I have. So it wasn’t really surprising when I wanted to spend my birthday seeing Godzilla. I was expecting to just go enjoy a classic monster movie. But I left feeling more confused than satisfied. Don’t get me wrong it was a fantastic movie, a real apology for the terrible Jurassic Park rip off Godzilla of 1998 and a step towards the classic Japanese Godzilla. But it sent me into this twenty-something crisis, not exactly my favorite birthday present. When the ’98 Godzilla came out I was a toddler, I remember watching it on VHS with my brother many times. When we watched it the main characters were all adults, they all reminded me of my parents and their friends. But when I watched the recent 2014 Godzilla, the main characters didn’t remind me of my parents, they reminded me of my friends, and my brothers friends. Which to be honest scared the living s**t out of me. Gone are my days of being the kid, my parents will always protect me, but not like they used to. I don’t get evacuated from the city, I stay and protect it. I’m the one who fights the monster. Hell, Captain America was only 20 when he was given the serum, he might have been frozen for 70 years, but his body is still in his twenties. For so long I didn’t take my life seriously, because I didn’t have to, everyone told me not to worry because the adult would take care of everything. Well, I’m the adult now. This goes for most of the people my age now, we haven’t really realized that the questions people are asking us have changed from “What do you want to do when you grow up?” to “What do you do?”. That’s kinda terrifying. I don’t go home and talk to my parents after a long day at school or work. I go to my apartment, and talk to my roommates. We laugh and cry over glasses of wine. My love life can’t be like a John Hughes movie, where we walk away into tomorrow with no plans of where our relationship is going. We either have to walk away or down the aisle. I can’t even commit to a hair color, how am I expected to commit to a person. Sometimes I wish I was back in Mean Girls, where my biggest problem was Regina calling me a slut, and not car payments and paying rent. But then I remember that I love having an apartment, and being in my twenties. When I don’t want to deal with the girls being bitchy, I just stop being friends with them, no harm done, I don’t have to be around them if I don’t want to. I get to make my own decisions, I get to succeed and I get to fail, but whatever I do, it was my choice to do it. I’m not in High School Musical anymore, my life is no longer a Disney Channel movie. My life is a full priced feature presentation, and I am the Leading Lady.

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